Friday, August 17, 2018

Stars in your eyes, hands in the sky
What a blissful night, don't you think?
I see colors in the stars, colors i've never seen before.
The sky full of stars resembles your heart.
I watch the sunrise and i feel complete.
Everytime i see the moon my heart skips a beat.
Dancing around the stars, letting my heart go wild.
For the first time i feel free.
I reach the sky with my hands, trying to touch the stars,
but my hands are small; unreachable to the sky.
My mind wanders through the sea, trying to find answers to my questions.
I see colors in the sky, bright colors and they look just like your soul, darling.
My soul is on fire in this moment, 
as i feel your touch on my skin.
When i look into your eyes, i see flames burning me until i turn into ashes.
Stars are beautiful creatures.
They remain constant in the sky
shining like no one else does.
In my heart i feel something burning me,
 forcing me to express myself in ways i didn't know i could.
The sunrise is meant for positive people as the sunset is meant for lovers, 
my grandphater used to say.
A melancholic melody sounds in my mind
as i watch the sunset expands in the sky.
"It will be okay", i say to myself but something tells me i'll never be okay.
I hope to see the stars again tonight
from the jail i'm trapped in.
Everything seems so bright from afar,
i can't distinguish the difference between the sky and the sea.
One day i'll reach the stars.

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Being here i realize i'm stucked,
stucked between thousand stars.
 My heart tells me to stay but my mind tells me to move on.
I touch the star and i see myself in it,
fragile and small but shiny and bright.
I stay in this place, expressing my feelings, my thoughts to the quiet night that patiently listens.
The night is my loyal partner
It sees me as i truly am.
The night has secrets and so do i.
I dance along with the wind while the moon watches me.
My mask is indecipherable,
it hides secrets that no one can know.
Dance with me, in the starry night.
It's all a secret.
The eyes of the night are as blue as the sea. 
Tell me to star with you under the starry night,
let's watch the moon shine.
When the night falls i transform myself.
The truth untold of you and me,
we can't scape from our past,
the secrets that we hide
everything is so unfair.
But at least we got each other.
I wish i could go back and fix my mistakes but life doesn't give second chances to people like me.
I scream, i shout to the world what i feel but it isn't enough.
I feel trapped in a hole that never ends. 
Only i can save myself.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Well, i really don't know how to start this so i'm just going to start by writing about me and my story.
My name is Sofìa and i'm 17 years old.
My life was good (the most part of it) until high school; I was never one of those skinny and social girls, i was the quiet, open-minded one. People started to bully me for my weight and for the way i thought.
Those were the most difficult years of my life.
Thanks to that i developed something called "borderline disorder" that is a mental disorder.
It's basically about emotions, having intense emotions and not being able to control them.
Since that, everything changed.
I changed school but the memory of what they did to me it was always there.
And that is when the disease showed up.
It was horrible...
Screaming, crying, breaking stuff and then...
I tried to kill myself for the first time.
It was the saddest moment of my life.
I will never forget that day.
It still seems like yesterday.
I lied to my dad, i locked myself in the house and i took the pills.
Next thing i know i'm in the hospital, crying because of what i did.
 I saw my dad and i begged him for forgiveness.
He just looked at me and asked: "¿How are you princess?"
It broke my heart.
I spent the next month interned in an psychiatric hospital.
You won't expect this but it was probably one of the best thing that ever happened to me.
I met amazing people.
Just like me.
Made amazing friends that i still talk to nowadays.
They all went through the hell i went too.
It's been two years since that bur i still have this and let me tell you my life it's not a fairytale.
I have tried to kill myself multiple time now and still have suicidal thoughts.
I still have my crisis ad it's no fun.
I was cyberbullied too.
Because i uploaded pictures of my cuts in one of my crisis; people told me an endless list of mean things.
And that's when i realised that it is because mental health is such a taboo thing in our world.
It need to be spoken and it definitely has to stop being a taboo thing.
The reason i talk about my story it's because i want my voice to be heard.
And for all the people who are going through the same thing that me to let them know that they are not alone.
You are not the only one.
I'm here for you.
So, this is my story and if you have got this far, thank you.

Sunday, December 17, 2017

She is scared of the world but she doesn't the world it's her own.
Everytime she cries the skies sing a sad melody.
everytime she smiles the skies dance a sweet melody.
The stars in her eyes tell the most beautiful stories
She's brave 
She's smart
She's pure fire in a world full of coldness.
She's sharpness in a world full of softness
She's a flower full of colors,
she's the rain and the stars.
She thinks she is alone in this world but she's not.
Her heart is full of letters, music and passion.
Take her where she wants to be.
Make her feel loved.
She is pure
She is radiant
She is she.

Saturday, October 14, 2017

I take in the colors that i’m seeing, the clouds that are moving,
The view that takes away my breath.
I can’t describe what i’m feeling
 All i know is that that only the sunset can make me feel this way.
I feel so alive right here, right now
As i watch such a magical and enigmatic view.
The sunset dances in front my eyes, delighting me
Wrapping me up in its arms
Leaving me totally in love.
My hands try to touch and steal a little bit of the beautiful sky
But it’s impossible.
Beauty cannot be kept.
I never want to stop feeling like this.
What it makes me feel is so intense it’s addictive.
Look at the sky when the sunset is there and tell me you don’t feel the same
Tell me you don’t try to reach the sky and feel the magic with your own hands
And then feel like you will never be alone again.
Oh, the sunset.
So pure and enigmatic.
So magical and powerful.
So delightful.
Keep in your arms and never let me go.

Saturday, September 30, 2017

A tremendous sense of pure happiness relieves my soul.
It's like one of those waves of warmness that bring you back to life.
Back to who you were before things started to get blurry.
 I needed, for a very long time, for my soul to feel such a vibrating feel.
Catharsis of pure sentimentals feelings.
You break out of your shell, to see that blinding ray of light.
Warming, pure, passionate, livid.
The warmthness of it surrounds you completely.
It fills you entirely and happily.
It let's you let out a sigh of relief.
Of consciousness in a state of blurryness.
Your face surfaces above the sky
A livid sky that penetrates you
leaving you out of breath.
These feelings, they never apppear in a decent form.
Or at least, in the form you expect them to come.
Out of breath, you gather these emotions.
You breath in these shapes, forms, colors and sights
with an unexpected feeling of surprise.
Certainly, actions express a lot more than words. 
Crazy attacks of breaking out of yourself 
You guide yourself through the sky full of lights.
Burning lights that cause inside you
A glorifying chaos 
A magical chaos
Leaving you with shiny eyes.
You capture yourself in the moment, in the intesity of your feelings
Trying to break out from such a captorous spell.
You can't.
Your soul and heart are already plastered in this tremenduos chaos.
Completely out of your mind
you lead yourself through the endless road of feeling.
A moan scapes from your lips
because of the intesity filling your heart.
Trying to go back to the consciousness you once felt
It's impossible to return from the chaos in the road leading to your heart.

Friday, September 22, 2017

Entrance Of The Sun
As the sun enters in the sky a cold but warm feeling gets in my soul
As i am surrounded by creatures i feel a little less lonelier than before.
Unable to describe feelings, i reach a certain point of no return.
The sky and the sun seem to be my only guidance in the world.
I can't fill my ears with joy
I can't let my soul feel the warmth of joy.
Only thing I can hope is to leave such a terrible void.
Leaving seems to be a far away privilege
for the only well-behaved.
So many stories to tell
Heartwarming stories to tell
The ones that fill your heart with that feeling indescribable.
Truly indescribable.
How blessed, you'd think, to be able to feel like this.
But, certainly not, it doesn't always come in such a pure form of expression.
Sometimes, even when the sun is up, it express itself in a dark, shapeless form.
Unexpectedly, it warms my soul.
Isolated from everything i want, i'm in a place with everything i need.
The beautiful sounds i want to hear no longer remain in this world.
Maybe they'll reappear in the world of dreams.
How desirable and desperate are these sounds that i hope to hear.
I'll be, maybe not so patient, waiting for them.
Waiting for these sounds are to me the only hope that keeps me breathing.
All type of feelings come along the way.
"Get used to it, get used to it" is all they say.
"¿How?" I manage to question myself.
And truly how do you get used to it.
Still waiting, i seem to be no longer afraid.
Afraid of what, you'd question.
Afraid of feeling, i say to myself.
Being afraid of feeling seems like a useless effort in this life.
Truly, it is an useless effort.
But for people like me, this useless effort represents a whole stigma to my heart.
You can't prepare yourself for the feelings waiting for you to consume them.
To live them.
Instead of you consuming them, they entirely consume you.
They consume you, they use you, and then, they tear you apart completely.
Even though i've experienced them like this plenty of times, i can't seem to be prepared enough.
Actually, you are never prepared enough.
And when you think you are
that is when the less prepared you are.
The warmness, the coldness.
The breathing, the living.
The death, the life.
The dreams and the reality.
All of them waiting for you in a world full of promises.
What are these promises?
Promises of life and passion?
Or promises of terrible void and loneliness?
Such harsh things for such a young girl.
Such beautiful things for such a young, aspiring being.
Do you want them or do you need them?
Seems to be the only question that matters the most to your heart.
Follow the rules or follow your heart
what a wonderful thing to feel.
Feeling, thinking, living, experiencing.
All of them so incredibly wonderful.
¡Ah! All of them with youthful vibes.
The longer you know, the happier you'll be.
Simple truth.
It depends the happiness on what you want to know.
Practical thinking, for sure.
But, as unfair as it seems, you can't always choose what you want to know.
Sadly, it is like this.
The sun, what a beautiful thing to look at.
It brings you hope and wellness.
Warmth and safeness.
As long as you can see the sun, you will never be lost.
The realm of things seem so pure and intense.
They certainly are.
Such a privilege, to look at the entrance of the sun and never feel lost.

Follow Us @itsophiecabrera